Title: Accessory
Author: XScout
Rating: R for language
Keywords: Mulder profiler
Spoilers: None
Category: V
Summary: When I transferred to this unit I got Fox Mulder as a partner. I wasn't prepared for that.

Disclaimer: No, no, and yes. Confused? Here's the questions to my answers. Are they mine? Will I make any money from this? Are they CC and Fox's? Got it?

Author's Note: Yup, it's me again and another 1st person vignette. Hope I can keep you in suspense until the end. Liked it? Lemme know. Hated it? I don't really want to know but if it would make you feel better then go ahead. Xscout@hotmail.com




When I transferred to this unit I got Fox Mulder as a partner.

I wasn't prepared for that.

Yes, he had a reputation but I wasn't going to let that diminish my enthusiasm for the work one iota. He might be a little on the odd side but I was willing to put up with it if it was going to further my career in the FBI. I had no idea what that entailed and what kind of sacrifices I was going to make.

At first it wasn't bad. We went out into the field and he showed me things that they didn't teach you at Quantico. I learned to see the details, to take in the whole crime scene and then peel off the layers one by one. He wasn't much interested in keeping me around and most of the time barely noticed I was even there, going off by himself on countless instances. The other agents laughed at my predicament, labeling me 'Spooky's Partner", not even affording me an identity of my own. I shrugged it off, figured I'd make a name for myself, prove to them that I wasn't just an accessory to the genius IQ.

But that's just what I was. I would follow him around, observing him as he plowed through case after case, feeling useless and incompetent. I knew very little about what he did and therefore spent many late hours trying to catch up so I could be on par with him. Fat chance. One thing I can definitely say about Mulder - he was smart. No, not just regular smart, I mean he could be the president of MENSA smart. My skills paled in comparison to his.

About two weeks into our partnership I truly learned the extent of my duties. He was profiling a serial killer case that the agents in Illinois had spent three months trying to get a handle on. The media was eating it up, calling the FBI inadequate and less useful than a junior detective. Let's just say that the Director wasn't particularly thrilled with how long it was taking. The Director himself handed the case to Mulder, told him to put all his other cases aside. That marked the beginning of my descent into the position of nursemaid. Without any other cases to focus on, his intensity multiplied, his world narrowing to encompass nothing but the mind of the Midnight Killer.

He didn't eat, didn't sleep, and didn't talk to anyone for several days. Holed up in his office with the lights low and his fingers tapping away at his computer. I managed to force some cold coffee and stale donuts into him but there was nothing I could do about getting him to rest. I offered some sleeping pills once and the glare he gave me was the essence of the statement 'If looks could kill". Finally we shipped out to Illinois and everything got worse if that were possible. Mulder wavered in and out of reality; talking to himself, gesturing to the air, plastering the motel walls with gruesome pictures that kept the cleaning women out of his room. I wasn't assigned to a team, my only job was to keep my partner together long enough to solve the case.

I resented that.

Any self-respecting agent would. But I did my job and kept him in one piece. I lost precious sleep from listening to his nightmares, spent my waking hours keeping tabs on where he was and when he ate. He was like a ticking bomb that could go off at any moment and I was the bomb squad officer in charge of diffusing any explosives. Lucky me. But I kept my complaints to a minimum and made sure Mulder didn't lose his mind completely. I must have done a good job because he solved the case in four days and we made it back to DC in time for the weekend. I spent those two days catching up on lost sleep.

On Monday it began all over again. Not only was my partner on the edge of darkness half the time, he lacked a sense of self-preservation. It seemed like every time we went out into the field he managed to get himself injured one way or the other. Stabbed, shot, burned, half-strangled, sprained, strained and bruised. I quickly got used to patching him up on the spot, his insistence at not being hospitalized honing my medical skills. Nightmares and vomiting were always common occurrences and I spent countless nights in his room just to be on the safe side. If he made it through a case without being hurt he would find some other way to keep from being healthy - exhaustion and dehydration were his favorites.

As the years passed I lost touch with my friends, all my time sucked into Mulder's all-consuming presence. Every time they wanted to get together I had to decline because I was busy looking after Mulder. Dating was something I dreamed about; even my mother gave up asking me if I had found someone yet. Yeah, right. Sure, we became friends over time but I also learned that there were limits to friendship and what I was willing to put up with.Every time he profiled I was relegated to being a baby-sitter, doctor, and keeper. How humiliating. I was sick and tired of him being my responsibility and was getting close to asking for a transfer. I didn't know where I'd go and frankly, I didn't care. But it ended up that I didn't have to.

Mulder asked for a transfer first.

I walked into the office yesterday and found him putting his belongings into a box. I froze in my tracks and stared at him in disbelief. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Transferring outta here."

I swear my heart actually grew wings. I opened my mouth and nothing came out so I closed it again. He just grinned that lopsided smirk at me. Cocky son of a bitch.

"C'mon, Jer, you didn't actually expect me to stick around here until I landed in the loony bin."

Yes, actually I had. "Patterson okayed this?"

"Didn't have a choice. I pulled some strings and went over his head."

He went on to explain to me that he had stumbled onto a small section of the Bureau called the X-Files; they dealt with unexplained cases of a supernatural nature and he was going to head the tiny department. I couldn't believe it. That bastard had managed to find the time to rummage around in some dusty old files for who knew how long while I was subjugated to spending every moment working. Can't say I was sorry to see him go.

I watched him walk out of the door of the ISU and felt as though a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I started laughing so hard that my stomach actually hurt. What was so funny? I'll tell you.

Some other poor shmuck was going to end up with Fox Mulder as a partner.

They were going to have to watch him, keep him in line, be overshadowed by him. They'd be 'Spooky's Partner', some nameless agent with nothing to do but be an accessory. Well, the best of luck to them.

As for me, I was finally going to make a name for myself. Special Agent Jerry Lamana. Oh yeah, I like the sound of that.

End 1